For those of you who may not know the play on words with the subject here I will explain it to you and then you can read my ‘Dear Jane” letter. According to Michael Quinion who writes on International English from a British Viewpoint on World Wide Words he states A Dear John letter is ‘conventionally a letter from a woman to a boyfriend or husband saying that all is over between them, usually because the woman has found somebody else. A much more recent phrase that reflects today’s sexual equality is Dear Jane letter.’
So this blog is not necessarily that I have found someone else but the fact that I think every single girl or anyone going through or has gone through a break up should write to themselves. If you write one, include things you have given up or made changes to since “then”.
So with that………here’s my letter to myself. I’d love to read yours if you chose to write one, besides it’s good for you!
This letter is to inform you that I found someone else. The person I have found you may not know. This person I am talking about is ME. Although we have had some great times together in the past and shared many laughs, I believe it is in our best interest if we no longer see each other. I have found some of your old clothing which I have decided to donate to charity. I also have found old letters you never mailed to people which I shredded. I changed the cookbooks in your house you used to use and replaced them with health food recipes. I also threw out all your spray deodorants and replaced them with stick ones. Oh, and the phone numbers of old friends who haven’t bothered to call you in years? I erased those from your phone as well (if they want to talk to you they can call you). In regards to your past relationship, don’t bother looking for that piece of memoir you were saving because that is hidden away (which you will never find).
With this said I have called your neighbor Mr. Shiraz and told him of my break up with you and immediately he came to my rescue along with your female friend Misty. Tonight we both hung out and they brought back memories of you so I have decided to not be friends with them either. I will let you know your two cousins hog an daz have been very supportive in my break up with you. Each night we sit, talk and think about other things besides you. They have become my “comfort food” if you will. I know at times you didn’t think I was sexy enough but now with the help of your cousin Jim Beam and playing Justin Timberlake over and over, I now know that I am about to bring sexy back!
I know how hard this must be for you to end this relationship so quickly, but now it is time I get my life back and start doing things that a single girl my age should be doing. I appreciate all the great times we shared in the past, but I must say that I will be happier now living the life I have always wanted and never wanted to settle for, so Jane, with all this said I must say farewell to you.
So in my farewell, I have to say thanks for the good times my Dear Jane.
Until Next Time,