The High’s and Low’s of Being In The Middle

When the phone rings do I wish it’s him calling? Sometimes. Relationships are so difficult. People always say relationships take work, but when too much work leaves you unemployed in your relationship, it’s time to find a new one.

As much as we want to pick up the phone when they call, we sometimes just let it ring. Is it a game or a statement we’re doing? My heart tells me it’s a statement and my head tells me it’s a game. Somehow I always seem to answer the phone…until now. When your relationship is unsure or ‘in the middle’ maybe it’s just best to go on about your life, go out enjoy the world and find out what it has to offer you. Afterall, isn’t that’s what life is all about? I’ve made a decision last night based on my conversation with Mike that I’m going to start living my life, getting out meeting new people and just looking at the world around me. I told Mike that I was planning on flying home for labor day weekend to see him and my family. His reply was “I’m not sure it’s going to change anything, I still do not want to date someone who is 3500 miles away.” Did I want to fly there and try to rekindle this relationship? absolutely.

Did you ever talk with someone and they say one thing and your heart wants you to believe they meant another thing? I did that last night with mike. I thought maybe he’s just saying that, maybe he doesn’t really mean it and really does want to try to work this out. When I hung up the phone, I questioned his answer again to myself and thought what if he does really mean that? Life is too short to keep questioning what people say, if they say it, they meant it. This morning mike called and I told him that I should cancel my flight and he said that I don’t have to cancel it so soon, that I should still come home to see my family. Again, is he speaking in code and maybe he really does want to see me and maybe there is that slight chance of hope to get back together? I’ve made the decision to go ahead and cancel my flight. why? because, I’m no longer playing these head games with myself (like i did with (the my previous blog). I’m now going to take a stronger approach to what people tell me. If he tells me to come home to see my family then I’m taking it for what he said and that he has no intentions on getting back together. It looks like he may deploy with the Air Force later on this year, so then I will go home and visit my family. Although, I would like the chance to get back together, I’m not going to try to push this relationship anymore.

As much as my head is in this relationship, my heart will protect herself regardless of how much i feel for him. I guess the highs of me thinking he really wants to see me and try to work things out leaves me to the low of the reality that in fact he may, but I know he has no intentions of getting back together.

Is there such a belief when two people who are in love they would go to the end of the earth for each-other?

Hard to believe that 3500 miles is not somewhere in the middle.