Unconditonally Conditional

There was a time in my life when I believed in unconditional love. Everyone would say ‘you must learn to love unconditionally’ but really, is there such a thing? I was recently in a relationship, and I say recently because Mike and I are no longer together as of yesterday. He told me it’s because we live too far from each-other (he lives in New York).

Although, I’m not sure what the real reason is, I do know our love turned conditional. He told me if I lived closer maybe things would be different. “Maybe?” how can I go on that condition and move and give up all i ever worked for? I can’t. He has children, two beautiful girls and he can’t move from New York. I understand that.

In the beginning, I thought our relationship was ‘meant to be’, you know how your mind plays tricks on you and your heart follows? I think that’s what happened this time with [him] Mike. I thought, ‘this has got to be meant to be, all the signs pointed to this relationship that it was meant to be. A few years ago, I met him and liked him but he was married at the time so it was hands off for me. I was cool with that. I did tell my sister last year if he ever becomes single to let me know. As fate would have it, she called me later on in the year and told me he was getting a divorce. I flew home for her Christmas party and I was introduced to him again and by the 3rd day there spending time with him, I knew I was in love. Is that possible? We talked for hours and hours on the phone, sending countless text messages to each other while I came back to California. We even had ‘our song”, it was ‘Home” by Blake Shelton.

I thought for sure he was ‘The One” everyone in my family has known him for years and loves him…including me. It’s been a few weeks and things have been kind of rocky with us, the text messages starting to come later on in the day, no more ‘good morning beautiful’ text messages, phone calls became shorter, ya know the typical distance is a problem sort of happenings. What relationship doesn’t have it ups and downs? He finally admitted to me last night that the distance is too much for him to handle. I was confused, because Mike used to fly here every 3-4 weeks to see me and to me it was perfect. Now, there is no more waiting to pick him up at the airport. This time the flight is delayed…indefinitely.

So much for the love to which we promised each other to never to put conditions on. Is it possible to have a love that doesn’t have some sort of conditions? I’ve been told there is love that exists which is unconditional, although now I know the type of love that really exists is unconditionally conditional.