There comes a time in our lives where we have to stop keeping score. When you’re in love or a marriage (and yes, I’ve had both) you have to stop keeping score. We all have fights, we all love, we all hate, we all mistrust and yes, sometimes we cheat. I’m in my Psychology class for my Master’s Degree and I’m learning a lot. One day I’m going to open my own practice and help couples who suffer from the inabaility to get along. Is divorce you’re only means to an end? No. Can it be? Sure. The first thing you have to stop doing is keeping score. Ask yourself, “is it more important for me to be right or to find resolution?” Be honest with yourself.
There was a time in my life when I dated a man for 6 years who had 3 kids who lived with us. I was mom at the age of 25 with 3 kids, a beautiful home and great job and a man I thought I loved. I say “thought” I loved because truth be known, I didn’t love him as much as I thought. I think what I loved was the “idea” of him. The idea of having a perfect family was great for me, since I didn’t have that growing up I was bound to find it with someone and that someone I thought was him. Later on in the relationship things started changing for us. I felt guilt, (that I wasn’t good enough for him), I felt remorse (that I was a glorified babysitter for him and his kids) and I also felt mistrust. The reason I felt mistrust was becuase I WANTED to feel that. I wanted to find a way to leave him so I was looking for a reason. If I could not trust him than that would validate my feelings to leave. I had no one else to blame but HIM.
I’d mentally keep score on our fights who won what, who lost which one and then I stopped keeping score and I found myself finding me again. I focused on what made ME happy, and no this wasn’t selfish, this was survival. I’ve survived, he’s survived, the kids all survived and everyone lives happily ever after. Happiness is what we make of it, what we bring other people, what we bring oursleves. Life is too short NOT to be happy, seriously..can you honestly say if you were on your death bead today “I lived a happy fulfilling life?” Not too many people can and I venture to bet you can’t either or else you’d be out doing something that makes you happy instead of reading what I’m writing about. I only write for two reasons, one to make you happy (because you enjoy them) and two for me, (because it gives me a sense of release).
What are YOU willing to do to be Happy?
Until Next Time,