Please Return To Tiffany & Co.

 

     This is a story about the reality of a relationship and a Tiffany bracelet. It’s been 7 months since I was given the bracelet, the very same one he first put on the right side of my wrist. Yesterday, I took it off for the very first time and have not put it back on since. I have no plans to put it back on.  As I look back on this past relationship, I realize the whole thing was based on control.  It was my assumption what he was doing was based on love. I loved him like no other. Now, I’m able to see what was really going on and it was him controlling me. How could I have been so blind? I didn’t see the signs, or if I did, I refused to believe them. Anytime I did something he didn’t like (like me acting jealous or insecure) he would “punish me”. We were supposed to be going on a trip with his family to Jamaica. Prior to the trip, it just so happen I “acted up” and I did not get to go on that trip. A form of punishment for my behavior. 

     They were gone for 9 days. When they came back, we watched the pictures they took from the trip. For 9 days I was left feeling guilty knowing people I cared for were together on a trip, that i was supposed to be on as well. The only trip, I went on was a guilt trip. Then when they came home, they shared the pictures with me from their adventure. Was I happy for them? Sure, but I also felt like a scolded child. “See what you could have had, if you hadn’t acted up”?

      A few weeks prior, when I asked my significant other if he booked the trip, he told me he did and I was not included. When he told me he booked the trip without me, my heart hurt. I did not shed a tear in front of him, but I was extremely sad inside. He told me he liked the way I took the news about me not going with them on their vacation. He broke the news to me, in the restaurant. When he broke the news to me, he thought I would have acted differently and stormed out of the restaurant. Since I “acted” in a way he “accepted” he offered to take me on a trip with he and I to go see my mom for her 80th birthday…(my reward for behaving the way he wanted). I was so excited to see my mom since she lives so far from me. The fact he was going to meet my family too, was such a rush, so much so, being left out of the previous trip did not seem to matter.

      That night, we got into an argument where my feelings were hurt again. So, yep, you guessed it, another trip cancelled based on my inappropriate behavior. Because I was hurt? Really? Our fights seemed to continue more frequently. However, one thing I loved about the way we fought was we never called each other names or raised our voices, we actually talked them though. 

      The negative part of our relationship was him trying to control me. If I acted one way, then I was rewarded. If I acted another way, that he found unacceptable, then I was punished and things were taken away.  Recently he purchased a brand new sports car valued over 80k. When we went to look at it,he was interested in buying it. He told me he felt bad about the purchase because of my financial situation (I’m not well off like he is). This was his way of putting himself up on a pedestal and me beneath him, more like “Poor Nikki”. Really? He ended up buying the car that day with me in the dealership. 

     There are so many other parts to this relationship that aren’t even worth mentioning. Look for signs of control and do yourself a favor and save yourself before it’s too late. I’ve been working on me and getting me back to my old self. This relationship took a tremendous toll on me. It’s been two days since we’ve had contact. It could be the best two days in months. I can certainly thank him for making me see what I don’t want in a relationship. I’m coming out of this getting to know myself better and happy to be a stronger person. 

     What we once had, I thought was true and genuine. The Tiffany bracelet was the only thing genuine in our relationship…


Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

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13 thoughts on “Please Return To Tiffany & Co.

  1. Hi Anonymous!
    Thank you for your kind words on my post. I can't say how I know you because you haven't left your name, but it seems you may know more than most about my past relationship. Time heals all wounds they say, the question is..How much time do we actually have? –

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  2. Richard,

    Thank you for your thoughtful words. Each day I get stronger. I'm not bitter at anything the relationship held. There were a lot of great times too with us. I think sometimes, we need to focus on the bad to help ourselves heal. I'm thankful for your comments and your insight to my post.

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  3. Rick,
    You have been such an inspiration to me throughout my career and my relationships. I always appreciate what you have to say to me. Glad you make me smile even when I can't find one.

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  4. Thank you Rob. You and I have known each other for many, many years and you've been through a lot of my relationships with me. I cherish our friendship and thank you for your kind words.

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  5. I'm so glad you posted this post. I know how much you two loved each other. Give it time. You both have some issues to workout and trust in God to guide you back together. Stay strong, and keep focusing on you.

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  6. Nikki, life lessons are often the hardest to learn, and they're often the most painful. Though he may never have laid a hand on you in anger, his controlling actions were no less abuse.
    Be glad that you have been able to get away from this relationship, and take good care of you. There may be pain for a while, but after the pain comes peace.
    You are a wonderful and beautiful person both inside and out. Take good care of you

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  7. Nikki, I Commend your honesty and insight into your relationship. Instead of crying “poor me” you decided to try and understand the lesson you had from the experience which I Believe you Mastered Beautifully. Bravo Nikki!!!

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  8. Nikki, I Commend you for your honesty and insight into your relationship. Instead of saying “poor me”you looked at the relationship as a learning experience and you Mastered your lesson from your experience. Bravo Nikki !!!

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  9. U did the right thing!!! U are WAY better then the way U were treated! Stay strong my friend! From along way away!!! NJR!

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  10. If I see you out there I'm not going to return you….I'm going to keep you…you are my friend, you are a genuine person with a wonderful heart that deserves to be loved the way you love others!!!!

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