Long Ago….and So Far Away…Love Remembers

Doesn’t seem possible ten years ago this month I was standing in the kitchen making dinner for 5 people. Three kids, a man and myself. We lived in Rome, NY then we moved to Wichita, KS. Six years later and 1 dog later we ended our relationship. Not really sure to this today why it all ended. I guess maybe because I was young. I was 25 when we met, he was 36. I thought I had it all. A ready made family, 3 great kids, a beautiful house, and well established loving man. I guess after the move to Wichita, KS I realized maybe perhaps I got in too deep over my head. Taking on more than I could handle. Don’t get me wrong, we had some of the best days of my life. Our holidays always were so warm and homey. I remember I would take off work 5 days prior to the holiday (mainly Thanksgiving and Christmas) and I would spend all day, and I mean ALL day just baking. The house would be surrounded with cookies, buttermilk pies, pumpkin pies, apple pies, you name it..I baked it. We both were in the Air Force at the time so we had steady jobs, money was never an issue with us. I guess looking back now, the issue was ME. Me trying to find myself. I needed to explore the world and be on my own to prove to myself that I didn’t need anyone to take care of me. I moved out and headed East where I got transferred to the Pentagon to work. The kids would call me for Mother’s day and wish me a happy mother’s day. Always made me wonder if I made the right decision to leave in the first place. Although [he] and I didn’t keep too much in contact throughout the years we were broken up, I knew in my heart that one day we would be back together…I just needed to “find myself”.

After many moves from Washington, DC to Virginia, to Pennsylvania, back to Virginia, on to Rochester, NY, on to Sacramento, Ca, to here San Francisco, Ca I think I may have finally “found myself”. Not too long ago, as you know I was in a long distance relationship which at the time I felt was my whole life. When in fact, what I’ve learned now was that was only “a part of my life”.

For some reason, not sure what, I decided to call my my very distant past and reach out. Not knowing what would happen or if even he would talk to me again, I took the chance and to my surprise he was single as I was. Both of us getting over a relationship many months ago. Strange how the heart knows no time. Our conversation was just like it used to be when we first dating, it was almost like we never left each other…and who’s to say if we ever really did.

People tell me that “you broke up for a reason, let it go, move on”. Now, I can say “I have moved on, I’ve moved on to a life which I don’t think I ever should have left.” Is it possible to “re-find” love after so many years have passed by? I know one thing now, that I’m happy we re-found each other and to me it doesn’t seem like it was so “long ago…and so far away” and maybe there are things we may have forgotten about our life then, I know in our hearts…Love Remembers.

PS. Have you kindled love after so many years? Share your story, write in the comments block.

Until Next Time,

Much Love,

Nikki

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Dear Jane,

For those of you who may not know the play on words with the subject here I will explain it to you and then you can read my ‘Dear Jane” letter. According to Michael Quinion who writes on International English from a British Viewpoint on World Wide Words he states A Dear John letter is ‘conventionally a letter from a woman to a boyfriend or husband saying that all is over between them, usually because the woman has found somebody else. A much more recent phrase that reflects today‚Äôs sexual equality is Dear Jane letter.’

So this blog is not necessarily that I have found someone else but the fact that I think every single girl or anyone going through or has gone through a break up should write to themselves. If you write one, include things you have given up or made changes to since “then”.

So with that………here’s my letter to myself. I’d love to read yours if you chose to write one, besides it’s good for you!

Dear Jane,

This letter is to inform you that I found someone else. The person I have found you may not know. This person I am talking about is ME. Although we have had some great times together in the past and shared many laughs, I believe it is in our best interest if we no longer see each other. I have found some of your old clothing which I have decided to donate to charity. I also have found old letters you never mailed to people which I shredded. I changed the cookbooks in your house you used to use and replaced them with health food recipes. I also threw out all your spray deodorants and replaced them with stick ones. Oh, and the phone numbers of old friends who haven’t bothered to call you in years? I erased those from your phone as well (if they want to talk to you they can call you). In regards to your past relationship, don’t bother looking for that piece of memoir you were saving because that is hidden away (which you will never find).

With this said I have called your neighbor Mr. Shiraz and told him of my break up with you and immediately he came to my rescue along with your female friend Misty. Tonight we both hung out and they brought back memories of you so I have decided to not be friends with them either. I will let you know your two cousins hog an daz have been very supportive in my break up with you. Each night we sit, talk and think about other things besides you. They have become my “comfort food” if you will. I know at times you didn’t think I was sexy enough but now with the help of your cousin Jim Beam and playing Justin Timberlake over and over, I now know that I am about to bring sexy back!

I know how hard this must be for you to end this relationship so quickly, but now it is time I get my life back and start doing things that a single girl my age should be doing. I appreciate all the great times we shared in the past, but I must say that I will be happier now living the life I have always wanted and never wanted to settle for, so Jane, with all this said I must say farewell to you.

So in my farewell, I have to say thanks for the good times my Dear Jane.

Until Next Time,

Much Love,

Nikki